You are in complete control of the life you create. You create your destiny, your failures, and your successes.
If you disagree, or if that sounds too harsh, you may be giving your power away.
Circumstances. Other people. Whatever. When women in leadership give up their power to other people, they become ineffective and sound like a victim instead of a leader. If so, it would look like this:
- Blame another person (It’s their fault)
- Blame the circumstances so you can justify what happened (I can’t help what happened)
- Feel ashamed and blame yourself, but not learn from your mistake (I’m a loser)
- Complain (a passive/aggressive way of expressing your unhappiness)
In all four cases, we don’t grow. And if we don’t grow, we can’t get better.
We all “get something” from the behavior we choose. What on earth would we get out of blaming, justifying, feeling ashamed, or complaining?
The answer is, attention.
Attention may feel good in the moment, but it’s a trap. To get the attention we crave, we must rely on the responses of other people. When we do that, we give up our power.
So you can be a victim or you can be a success, but you can’t be both.
Women’s leadership growth comes from the ability to learn from everything that happens to us. We must recognize how we “got here” and take personal responsibility for our role in every, single thing that happens to us. Everything.
This is a tough mental shift if you have formed the habit of giving your power away. But let’s face it, victim thinking will only keep you where you are now.
Absorbing the idea that only you have the power to create your own success goes far beyond positive affirmations and bolstering yourself up with motivational talks and music.
It is the foundation of personal leadership and is the fundamental way effective women leaders think. It literally strips away the blanket of excuses that keep you comfortably average. It means you step into a place that declares,
I am it.
It’s all me.
The cavalry isn’t coming over the mountain.
Prince Charming isn’t coming to kiss me and wake me up out of a coma.
My future depends entirely on me.
Only I can generate my own ideal life and work.
Someone else can’t workout for you.
Someone else can’t eat or not eat for you.
Someone else can’t sleep for you.
Someone else can’t blame, justify, feel shame, or complain for you.
And someone else can’t take personal responsibility for your level of success. It’s all you.
So today, right now, declare that you are 100% responsible for your life. Then ask yourself the following questions to everything that happens:
- What was my role in how this turned out?
- What can I learn from this?
- What will I do differently in the future?
- How can I turn this into something good?
- What is the most critical step to take in moving forward from here?