Remember the last time you got negative feedback? Ouch!
Even if you also got lots of positive feedback, those negative words were probably the ones cemented into your brain.
When I was teaching at the Center for Naval Leadership, we received class critiques at the end of the two-week training. Even if 29 out of 30 students left positive comments, it was always the one negative entry I played over and over in my head.
It took about a year to become more numb to the sting, but after that I was able to just pull the constructive information from those negative comments, and leave the rest of it alone.
We tend to give negative comments much more weight than they deserve. It’s human nature to want to belong, to want to be liked. That’s why it’s distressing when we discover someone doesn’t like us.
Now, let’s take a look at the people who do like you.
These are the people in your life who claim to support you (and they truly believe that they do)…but they really don’t. Tell them your most outrageous goal and listen closely.
Do any of their responses sound like these?
That’s a pretty big goal. Are you sure you have the time to do that?
No one in our family has ever made that much money before.
Isn’t that going to be hard?
How are you going to do that and still take care of your family?
How do you expect to find that many people or sell that much?
Don’t come crying to me if it doesn’t work out.
When are you going back to your real job?
If so, then these people, some of whom are family members and friends who love you very much, are part of the 98% percent crowd. The people that support you 98%…but still hold on to a little bit of doubt.
They’re usually people you’ve known for a long time – we tend to have the least credibility with the people who remember us “back in the day.” Because they’ve seen us fail before, or still can’t see us as a successful professional, they tend to sow seeds of doubt.
And that doubt can be deadly.
When you sense that someone doubts your abilities, your intentions, your desires, even your dreams, it will cause you to doubt yourself too. That’s the last think you need on your way to the top.
When you share your goals and dreams, this is what you should hear:
Well of course you’re going to do that; I have no doubt about it.I know you can do it.
You’re perfect for that!
You’ll be wonderful!
How can I help?
These are the people to talk to about your business. These are you power partners.
They will ignite a fire in you and keep your vision alive and in focus. They will claim your victory for you…sometimes before you even realize it’s possible. They will champion you to even bigger dreams than you have for yourself and cheer you on along the way.
Do you have to stop talking to the 98% crowd?
Of course not. Just stop talking to them about your goals. When they ask about your business say,
“It’s awesome. How are things going for you?”
The 98% crowd means well but they have forfeited their right to have an opinion about your success. Don’t let anyone, who isn’t in a position to show you how to win, tell you that you’re going to lose.
You get to say what your success looks like and you get to define your commitment to it.
Your potential is only what you think it is!