Everyone who is afraid of being rejected feels alone, despite the fact that most people will go out of their way to avoid rejection. Of course, just because we’re afraid of being rejected, doesn’t mean we should avoid it.
Being rejected, over and over, is practically a requirement for success. If you’re in sales, you know the law of averages gives meaning to the pain of rejection. When people say no to what you sell, it’s not personal, it’s not about you.
It’s about the “fit” between your customer and your product or service.
The most effective sales professionals have learned how to handle rejection with ease. They know it’s part of the deal. They don’t even try to ignore it or avoid it. They handle it by receiving it and putting it in its rightful place.
T. Harv Eker, author of “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” knew he would face rejection in his climb up the wealth ladder so he too a job for two months as a telephone solicitor. He knew if he could immerse himself in rejection he would become numb to it.
He was correct.
People hung up on him, swore at him, called him names, blew loud whistles into the phone, and tore him and his offer to shreds. He never felt so despised.
He was thrilled!
We can’t learn to handle something we don’t experience. Harv knew he needed to experience a lot of rejection quickly so he could get it out of his system and then concentrate on his sales work for his own company. He knew handling rejection would take practice and, like any skill, you only get better with lots and lots of practice.
If you’re not selling now because you are waiting for your self-esteem or self-confidence to get better, you may as well pack it in right now.
Those sales professionals you admire so much are good at what they do because they have gotten used to being rejected and the only way to get used to something is to move through it so much that it no longer affects you.
You can’t wait until you feel more confident before asking for a sale. Asking for the sale, multiple times, and being rejected is what builds the confidence.
Don’t fear rejection, embrace it. It is the ticket to bigger and better sales.
Sure, you can avoid rejection and stay all neat and clean and un-mussed-up, like a china doll sitting still and quiet on a shelf.
Or you can be a Raggedy Ann doll. They get messy and stepped on and thrown around the room…but they’re the ones having all the fun.
Fearing rejection doesn’t prevent it. Fearing rejection prevents you from getting what you want.
3 Ways to Practice
1. Call that one customer or client you have been avoiding the most and make her an offer she can’t refuse. If she does refuse, smile at the gift of rejection.
2. Choose ten people to call and present with an offer. The goal is to get through all ten – doesn’t matter whether they say “yes” or “no.”
3. Stop focusing on how you “don’t” want to feel (scared, intimidated, humiliated etc.) Decide to feel powerful. Stand in a power pose for one full minute (feet apart, hands on hips, shoulders back – you know, pretend you’re Wonder Woman!) Sounds wacked, but it will change your physical state and that directly affects your mental state. Make your next sale “as if” you feel fabulous.
Give those a try – you’ve got nothing to lose, what you’re done up to now hasn’t worked, maybe one of these will show you how the fear of rejection is real enemy.
Seek rejection. Go looking for it. Take it on, lean into it, and learn to “handle” it by reducing its effect on you.
Look for it everywhere and embrace it when it comes. Then deliberately move through it and on to where you really want to be.